Ancient Astronaut

Ancient Astronaut

Greg Allendorf

Everybody needs a beloved. Some
look beyond and above. My baby died

in my arms like a Martian, his ribs
imploded into the oven of his chest.

Away he went, godlovvum. That was
10,000 years ago. My baby and I posed

nude amidst primitive trees. He pecked
my cheek and it caved. A feathered lizard

leapt into his arms, and it gored him. Today,
I have only his latex spacesuit. Today,

I think god how I loved once his body
as it materialized before me, spoke to me,

kissed me inquisitively. I loved wildly
when last he was here to allow me.

After coming twice, he vanished; have you
seen my ancient astronaut? He was here once;

he was the dunce in the high school play.
He was always watching crotches. From space,

he could see my heartbeat through the nape
of my neck, blow smooth my wavy hair.

I went back to where we met; he wasn’t there—
but the pond we strolled around still lay

like a victim under the cypress, goslings dotting
its all-consuming blackness like defenseless stars.

About Greg Allendorf

Greg Allendorf is originally from Cincinnati, OH. His poems have appeared in or are forthcoming from such journals as Smartish Pace, Subtropics, The Portland Review, Narrative Northeast, Gigantic Sequins, The Hawaii Review, and Memorious: A Journal of New Verse and Fiction. His chapbook, Fair Day in an Ancient Town, was recently selected by Kiki Petrosino for the Mineral Point Chapbook Series from Brain Mill Press. He holds graduate degrees from The University of Cincinnati and Purdue University. He currently lives in Columbia, MO, where he is a PhD candidate and Creative Writing Fellow at The University of Missouri-Columbia.

National Poetry Month
National Poetry Month

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month 2016

If “love calls us to the things of this world,” then poetry too can call us to think about challenging questions, difficult situations, and social justice, implicating and engaging the reader with the world we live in, in the hope that this engagement is a step toward wrestling with our better selves.

April in All Her Awful Beauty

April you break my bones.You sucker punch me right in the side of the head.If there was a mountain in my backyard I would find you therestaring down with a twisted mouth as you hurl lightning bolts, or bouldersthat you have hoisted above your head.

Instead, on my flat green acres, you lay low,Army crawling on your belly with a knife clutched in one hand,moving through the lilies that are just starting to bloom.You curl into the dark bottom of a watering canand wait for my wrist to appear above it, or build a nestin the chicken coop and swarm my face and armswhen I swing the door.

I’ve grown to know you.Fake beauty, pretender, liar.Thief.I’ve figured you out.When you spread your armsto cast a soft light and scent the night that surrounds boysstepping towards girls in gowns and wrist corsagesyou lick your lips at the thought of twisted metal andwheels that keep spinning long after the car has stopped moving.When you roll water down the river and spark light across the backsof silver fish, when you warm the rocks for long legs to spread out on,I know that you are waiting for footholds to give wayfor ankles and limbs to get tangled in underwater vines. For us to go under.

April you crush my skull.Outside my window the sky is as blueas the eyes of my dead son.A row of blooming cherry trees line the split rail fence.Night peepers sing to me.My baby still cries for me.The sun warms my face as I walk the long yardhands folded behind me,heart folded inside me.

April you gut meyou and all your awful beauty.

Elizabeth Berry lives on a small farm in Partlow, Virginia, with her husband and teenage daughter. Preferring the company of animals to people, she spends most of her free time with her four dogs, and colony of feral cats. She also frequently sits and brushes the hair of a tamed skunk named Jon Snow. She writes poems about loss and survival, and how often the two exist as ghosts in ordinary lives.

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month

If “love calls us to the things of this world,” then poetry too can call us to think about challenging questions, difficult situations, and social justice, implicating and engaging the reader with the world we live in, in the hope that this engagement is a step toward wrestling with our better selves.

You Have Reached Your Destination

My phone promises me a gas station isthe bookstore I’m looking for. Twice.I consider a metaphor about refuelingor contents under pressure over timebut it would be a stretch. Truth is, I’m lost.

Truth is there are no maps for days like this.There is no destination. That’s a liewe feed to kids that’s worse than Santa.December sunlight like skim milk,I want to walk out into that thin bath.I want to hike six miles, maybe ten. I wantto punch someone. There’s no time.And a voice in my head—not the phone—tells me no, I’ve got this, I’m already onOakdale, just count the numbers down.

The store is in a strip mall. They sellmore merchandise than books.They do sell books. Not my books,but that book by a friend of a friendof mine on moss, on types of moss.

My friend said Mosses have a special place in my heart.It hadn’t occurred to me that a heart could havea still, green, pillowed space. I want to enterthat green, miniscule world of fronds and spores,ancient and breathing. I want to grow my own.

Sarah Sadie’s chapbook, Do-It-Yourself Paper Airplanes, was published by Five Oaks Press in 2015, and a full-length collection, We Are Traveling Through Dark at Tremendous Speeds, is due out from LitFest Press spring 2016. She teaches and works with poets one on one, and hosts occasional retreats for writers and other creative types.

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This poem first appeared on Tupelo Press’s website during December 2015, as part of Tupelo’s 30/30 poetry marathon fundraising project.

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month

If “love calls us to the things of this world,” then poetry too can call us to think about challenging questions, difficult situations, and social justice, implicating and engaging the reader with the world we live in, in the hope that this engagement is a step toward wrestling with our better selves.

2017 Editors’ Choice Poems: Week 1

2017 Editors' Choice Poems: Week 1

Sully Pujol

We are delighted to present this week’s selections from the Brain Mill Press 2017 Poetry Month Contest. We received many outstanding entries, from which this piece by Sully Pujol stood out. We hope you’ll enjoy it as much as we did.

Admission

Sully Pujol

Because I was not lonely

I knocked on your bedroom door: because I’m
not seeking access to your most private thoughts,
dusty gems in costume shops,

because I heard a silence I couldn’t shake,
full of things you wouldn’t push past your lips.

I started to wrench words, like teeth

and watched them drop, and drop, and drop
while the blood fled my fingers.

Because I wanted to catch you,

unwind you, reweave your design.
Because there was room in my suitcase, and empty spools.

Those nights were chilled, my skin all snow and salt;
because our doors were closed,

that night of your mourning,
the eve of my hangover.

Because I didn’t come with you,

didn’t see those crusted-over jewels, didn’t pack my bag
with a little of your pain.

About Sully Pujol

I will graduate from Lewis and Clark College in exactly one month with a bachelor’s degree in English and another in Hispanic Studies. My plan is to continue working in libraries while reading and writing for personal enjoyment. I’m planning to delve deeper into poetry and continue writing short pieces and longer blogs. Both poetry and the journal-blog format are fulfilling creative outlets for me, particularly during moments of personal and interpersonal growth. I doubt I will ever stop writing.

National Poetry Month
National Poetry Month

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month 2017

The theme of teaching and learning poetry, and our emphasis on student poets, speaks directly to the action of poetry in our country and global community. Never has the education of our students been so threatened, and never has truth been more challenged than in the current political climate. The truth emerges through education and the resistance and questions of our youngest generation, and it is their lead we absolutely must follow if they are to live in a society that fosters their achievements, liberation, and justice. Truth emerges through poetry as well — poetry bears witness to what truths seem impossible to speak any other way. Its constraints limit the temptation to misconstrue, obscure, and bury.

2016 Editors’ Choice Poems: Week 3

2016 Editors’ Choice Poems: Week 3

We are delighted to present this week’s selections from the Brain Mill Press 2016 Poetry Month Contest. We received many outstanding entries, from which these pieces by Shabnam Piryaei, Courtney Leblanc, and Sharon Brooks stood out. We hope you’ll enjoy them as much as we did.

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Shabnam Piryaei

About Shabnam Piryaei

Shabnam Piryaei is the author of Ode to Fragile (Plain View Press, 2010), Forward (MUSEUM Books, 2014), and Nothing Is Wasted (forthcoming).

She has been awarded the Poets & Writers Amy Award, the Transport of the Aim Poetry Prize, the Elizabeth George Foundation Grant, the Northern Manhattan Arts Alliance Grant and the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund Grant. Her work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and published in journals and anthologies including Poets & Writers Magazine, The Awl, MUSEUM, Unsaid, Commonthought Magazine, The Florida Review, Flashquake, The Furnace Review, Mapping Me: A Landscape of Women’s Stories (Maymuna Productions) and Others Will Enter the Gates: Immigrant Poets on Poetry, Influences, and Writing in America (Black Lawrence Press). Her play A Time to Speak was staged at the MAD Theatre Festival in the United Kingdom. She has also written for the Global Post and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

She has written and directed three award-winning films that have screened in the U.S. at the Woodstock Film Festival, HollyShorts Film Festival, Indie Spirit Film Festival, Red Rock Film Festival, Miami Short Film Festival, Noor Film Festival, International Literary Film Festival, Video Art and Experimental Film Festival, The Foundry Film + Video Series, Catskill Film and Video Festival, Co-Kisser Poetry Film Festival, The Body Electric Poetry Film Festival, Liberated Words Festival, Digital Arts Entertainment Laboratory, (sub)Urban Projections, Blissfest333 and the Target Art Gallery, and internationally at the Canterbury Short Film Festival, Portobello Film Festival, Void Film Festival, Zebra Poetry Film Festival, Sadho Poetry Film Festival, Visible Verse Festival, Moscars al-Hurria Film Festival, Art Monastery Film Festival, Cologne International Film Festival, Indie Cork Film Festival, First Glance, FilmVideo International Film Festival, Festival Miden, Festival Videomedeja, KnockanStockan, the Unlike Art Gallery, Elysium Art Gallery, New Gallery London, Youyou Gallery, Jotta, Galleria Perelà and the Shorts Movie Channel.

Website

Unsolicited Advice to My Younger Self

Courtney LeBlanc

after Jeanann Verlee

When he breaks up with you to return to his wife and his children and his life do not tell him you understand. Tell him goodbye and walk out the door. When you begin dating his gorgeous mixed-race friend do not gloat. The first time your father calls him a nigger walk out of the room. The second time he says it walk out of the house – his racism will grow and fracture your blooming relationship. You will regret this.

When he comes back and says his marriage is over tell him congratulations. Do not date him again, do not quit school and follow him to the Caribbean. He will break you every way he can for the next seven years. Do not regret or reconsider the restraining order. You were right to get it. He did not have the right to threaten you.

Do not let your mother make you feel guilty for the divorce. She is a pro at blaming you for her own issues. Your divorce is not a reflection on her. Do not feel guilty when your relationship with your mother falls apart. She fostered it as much as you did. You do not have to like her or even love her. It is not owed.

Do not apologize for using the word fuck. Use it in any (every) poem. Read these poems to your mother. Do not flinch when she slaps you at your first public poetry reading. Pour that into a poem. Use the word fuck repeatedly.

About Courtney LeBlanc

Courtney LeBlanc believes she and her sister were born as Siamese twins, despite logic and the fact that they were born two years apart. Her poetry is published or forthcoming in Connections, Welter, Plum Biscuit, Pudding Magazine, The Legendary, Germ Magazine, District Lines, Slab, Wicked Banshee, The Door is a Jar, and others.

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She and he into we

Sharon Brooks

what if we set aside

all of these illusions of love

the control

the holding at arm’s length

the perception of what will be

based on what was

what if we managed our expectations

what if we stopped blaming ourselves

for failure

and stopped blaming the other for

deceptions.

what if we just

trust

and consciously walk forward

with the grace we are each assigned

and loved the other

and ourselves

in power

and empowered the other to love

at the highest level

because this space between us is

safe

and fluid

and alive

what if love just is, and was,

and survived on the inhale and exhale.

what if we came together

hoped brilliantly

took that faith and made multiple trips around the moon

and stared straight into the sun

with eyes wide open

and just stopped judging

what we saw

stopped controlling what we want

stopped trying to own the other

and accepted

every ugly, selfish, thoughtless

flaw simply because

and what if we held the other

even in those ugly moments

raising the frequency of each

heartbeat until they connect

and beat as one

what if we became one

she and he into a we.

About Sharon Brooks

Sharon Brooks is a writer who lives in Los Angeles, where she enjoys discovering new restaurants, organic gardening, and writing about love. She recently started a blog, Not Quite We, where she will share her very funny and very sweet stories of dating in the digital age.

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National Poetry Month
National Poetry Month

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month 2016

If “love calls us to the things of this world,” then poetry too can call us to think about challenging questions, difficult situations, and social justice, implicating and engaging the reader with the world we live in, in the hope that this engagement is a step toward wrestling with our better selves.

Imani Davis Wins the BMP 2016 Poetry Month Contest

We are delighted to present the winner of April’s Brain Mill Press Celebrates Poetry Month Contest for 2016:

“Grave Robber Digs with a Pen” by Imani Davis.

We received submissions from nearly eighty individual poets of a very high caliber, from which poetry month coordinator C. Kubasta selected the winning poem, as well as short and long lists of finalists (see below).

We are grateful to C. Kubasta for her hard work in organizing our poetry month event, as well as to all of the contributors, contest entrants, and readers for making this such a rich and wonderful month. If, after reading Imani Davis’s winning poem, you’re in the mood for still more wonderful poetry, check out our editors’ choice picks for week one, week two, and week three, and investigate the full list of poetry month essays and poems.

–Ruthie Knox & Mary Ann Rivers, Brain Mill Press Publishers

***

And what an April Poetry Month it was. Here at Brain Mill we posted poems and essays, conversations between poets and lovers of poetry, and shared love far and wide. Entries for our poetry contest arrived from all over the world, keeping us nourished all month long.

I remember once when I misspelled “playwright” my teacher gave me this helpful device: It’s playwright, like wrought iron, because that’s how hard they work on their craft. (He was a theatre person. I never misspelled it again). But why don’t poets, then, have some difficult-to-predict spelling? Something that suggests red-glow-heat, twisting metal, long-handled tools and the long cool in the ashy water?

No matter. The poems I kept coming back to did just this. The tension between language and form was always there, deftly handled, turned and smoothed until the poem could not be in any form but this one. And here and there the wright left barbs for the reader to find, a moment that stops her mid-line, breathless, the body of the poem waiting with her.

–C. Kubasta, Contest Judge & Poetry Month Coordinator

Grave Robber Digs with a Pen

Imani Davis

When a Black ______ dies and they last breath is played on repeat, must we still paint the forest? I debate this with my hands.

They say Ain’t nobody else to remember the blood. I say they ain’t the ones bleeding.

I interrogate every poem about the dead. There they go, robbing the grave and settling in the boy’s place.

What do we grow with this? While I ask, the poem picks lilies off the casket.

The grief is not all (a) mine.

Vulture’s talon ( be ) artist in my hands     say look how          the skull shines in your light.

Watch: ____. _____. You ain’t flinch? How you used to forcing reincarnation?

I get it. Shut the news off and the screen’s a mirror. You don’t ask to be reflected in the black of its pause.

You here though: Dense tangle of light hostage

in God’s 3 dimensions. Or maybe not You. (the faces all blur together,

Ghost shadowed and inadequate. It’s hard to tell the difference.)

My hands mimic a bullet’s carnivorous twitch. Say it ain’tme, but it could be. It ain’t meyet.

I say the fear of the bullet is not the bullet itself.

Some folk never get the chance to flinch. I translate the body of a boy into language.

The lines will never break as clean as his bones.

After the show, the check cuts like the scalpel do.

I eat. I buy my mother something

she can never lose. It is not security.

Imani Davis is Black magic. She currently works on Urban Word NYC’s Youth Leadership Board. Her poetry has appeared in Rookie Magazine and the occasional trash can.

Poetry Month Contest Finalists

Shortlist

“There ain’t nothing like Breck for Stop n Stare Hair” by Jessica Jacobs (also an Editors’ Choice Pick)

“Brunch Plans” by Tyler Gillespie

Longlist

“Extinction” by Robin Johnstone

“psychonausea” by Catherine Chen (also an Editors’ Choice Pick)

“The Frequency of a Periodic Function” by Jen Karetnick

“Watching the Glassmakers” by Daniel Lassell

“Waves Like Breath / There Is Finally Quiet” by Meghan Sterling

BMP Celebrates National Poetry Month

If “love calls us to the things of this world,” then poetry too can call us to think about challenging questions, difficult situations, and social justice, implicating and engaging the reader with the world we live in, in the hope that this engagement is a step toward wrestling with our better selves.